This is it..

I've been struggling for a while with trying to figure out where it is that the Lord wants me. 

I love my job, I love my co-workers, I love the opportunities that I have, and I don't believe my time is done here by far, but I just don't feel like this is it.  I don't think this is the end for me...but for so long I couldn't get a clear picture of what is it.

I finally got that picture Saturday night.  I don't think I knew it at the time, or even at all Saturday night.  Come Sunday morning, I was so convicted with what I had seen that I KNEW this was it.  This is where I'm supposed to be.

The timing? I'm still leaving all of that up to the Lord.  He'll show me and guide me when He's ready.  And for once, I am going to wait on Him, and wait patiently at that.

What is it that I saw that made me so sure this was it?

Matt and I took the kids to the Atlanta Braves game Saturday night and on our way home, there were so many detours and closed roads due to traffic that we got all turned around and had to take a trip through downtown ATL.  I love the city lights and all of the buildings, but the closer we got to the exit for the Interstate, the more anxious I got.  I wasn't sure why that was happening and I just brushed it off at the time. 

We were sitting at the last red light and I noticed a woman sitting in an outside window.  She was a black woman and was wrapped in what looked like a white sheet.  She had a white man sitting next to her.  He had scraggly hair and the look of being worn down and struggling.  They were smiling and conversing.

I thought nothing of that.

I then noticed the black woman in the window on the inside.  She had something in her arms.  I finally realized she was bouncing a baby.  No sooner than I saw this, I noticed the sign out front...

"Women's and Children's Center"

That's it. No address.

We inched up in traffic enough to get to the next set of windows.  I saw the security guards sitting at a table and still wasn't prepared for what was going to be shown to me.  I looked past them and saw nothing but cots. 

My heart immediately broke.  I'm pretty sure I cried myself to sleep on that ride home.

I was so thankful for my life.  For my precious husband, for my wonderful kids cutting up in the backseat, for the opportunities that my family and I have been blessed to receive, but I couldn't shake that image.

Sunday morning when I woke up, that was the first thing that I saw.  All day long, I struggled not to see it.  It became evident to me throughout the day that I wasn't going to be able to get rid of it.  I was meant to see it. 

I surrendered in that moment.  I cried out to Jesus that if this is where I am needed, if this is it for me, to use me.  Take me, put me where I need to be, make it work.  I'm Yours.

I believe this is it.  Not today, maybe not tomorrow...possibly not even next year, but soon..this is it.  I may not be directly involved with this center, or any center for that matter, but these kids and these women deserve an honest chance and someone willing to help them with that.  I am willing.  Use me, Lord.  I am willing.

I ask you to please join me in my prayer for Jesus to use me and for me to stay patient and surrender to Him in every aspect of life.  I am excited about this as I've always known in my heart that something like this was my calling.  I have always dreamed of running some sort of orphanage or something to that effect.  I want to help these people.  I want to share my blessings and my Jesus' love for them.

This is it... :)