This is it..

I've been struggling for a while with trying to figure out where it is that the Lord wants me. 

I love my job, I love my co-workers, I love the opportunities that I have, and I don't believe my time is done here by far, but I just don't feel like this is it.  I don't think this is the end for me...but for so long I couldn't get a clear picture of what is it.

I finally got that picture Saturday night.  I don't think I knew it at the time, or even at all Saturday night.  Come Sunday morning, I was so convicted with what I had seen that I KNEW this was it.  This is where I'm supposed to be.

The timing? I'm still leaving all of that up to the Lord.  He'll show me and guide me when He's ready.  And for once, I am going to wait on Him, and wait patiently at that.

What is it that I saw that made me so sure this was it?

Matt and I took the kids to the Atlanta Braves game Saturday night and on our way home, there were so many detours and closed roads due to traffic that we got all turned around and had to take a trip through downtown ATL.  I love the city lights and all of the buildings, but the closer we got to the exit for the Interstate, the more anxious I got.  I wasn't sure why that was happening and I just brushed it off at the time. 

We were sitting at the last red light and I noticed a woman sitting in an outside window.  She was a black woman and was wrapped in what looked like a white sheet.  She had a white man sitting next to her.  He had scraggly hair and the look of being worn down and struggling.  They were smiling and conversing.

I thought nothing of that.

I then noticed the black woman in the window on the inside.  She had something in her arms.  I finally realized she was bouncing a baby.  No sooner than I saw this, I noticed the sign out front...

"Women's and Children's Center"

That's it. No address.

We inched up in traffic enough to get to the next set of windows.  I saw the security guards sitting at a table and still wasn't prepared for what was going to be shown to me.  I looked past them and saw nothing but cots. 

My heart immediately broke.  I'm pretty sure I cried myself to sleep on that ride home.

I was so thankful for my life.  For my precious husband, for my wonderful kids cutting up in the backseat, for the opportunities that my family and I have been blessed to receive, but I couldn't shake that image.

Sunday morning when I woke up, that was the first thing that I saw.  All day long, I struggled not to see it.  It became evident to me throughout the day that I wasn't going to be able to get rid of it.  I was meant to see it. 

I surrendered in that moment.  I cried out to Jesus that if this is where I am needed, if this is it for me, to use me.  Take me, put me where I need to be, make it work.  I'm Yours.

I believe this is it.  Not today, maybe not tomorrow...possibly not even next year, but soon..this is it.  I may not be directly involved with this center, or any center for that matter, but these kids and these women deserve an honest chance and someone willing to help them with that.  I am willing.  Use me, Lord.  I am willing.

I ask you to please join me in my prayer for Jesus to use me and for me to stay patient and surrender to Him in every aspect of life.  I am excited about this as I've always known in my heart that something like this was my calling.  I have always dreamed of running some sort of orphanage or something to that effect.  I want to help these people.  I want to share my blessings and my Jesus' love for them.

This is it... :)

Better late than never...

Right? Isn't that the saying? :)

Sorry I've been out of commission for a while.  We've had a lot going on with softball, baseball (in two different counties might I add), birthday parties, vacations, and work.  Hopefully I'll be able to start updating this ole thing again.  I actually kind of miss it...

We just got back from a 5 day trip to the beach that was absolutely fabulous and when I have more time, I will blog about that and add some pictures, but for now, I've got some eye candy to get you through..

We are working on opening the pool and Sammie loves to swim in it even though it's not completely clear.  And Mahlon, well, he just loves the hosepipe...and tormenting Sammie..

 

..I absolutely LOVE the look on his face..

                                      

..this is where he was torturing her..she hated the feeling of the cold water, but wouldn't move..she just stood there screaming..

I promise I'll be back with more!!

needed this one..

"Believe in yourself and have confidence in who you are as a person."

Someone really special to me said that when I was having a bad day.  I now have it taped to my computer monitor and written almost anywhere visible throughout the day.

I like to tell myself that I have confidence and am proud of myself, but the truth is..

I'm not sure.

But as of today, I am kicking those "people" and "voices" out of my head and my life. 

Here's to renewed belief and self confidence!

Stories in a picture..

I am one of those people that absolutely loves photography.  I not only want to find the beauty in something and capture it forever, I want to find the story in it as well.

With some of the things that I am going through with my life, I have become more alert about things going on around me and am reading more into things than I would normally.  I have noticed that I am beginning to see the stories in things and have even began applying them to my own life.

For example:

                                                                     Photo courtesy of the awesome Kim Jones.

Kimmie took this photo on a recent trip to Gatlinburg and while she joked about not being able to get the couple out of her shot, I found a story in the couple being there. 

Maybe the Lord did this on purpose.... 

maybe not...

but I like to think that He did.

The story that I see in this photograph is that the couple has broken through the fence from being friends to becoming newly united (dating or married, it doesn't matter).  

There they stand in the open field of life. 

Smooth sailing for a while and then they hit the mountains...

My mind only wonders what they would be like on the other side of all of those mountains.

Will they make it across the steep points into the valleys feeling as if it was all over just to climb another mountain.  Will they tire of having to climb all of these mountains and will they tire of having all of the emotions of feeling like everything is smooth and then it's not.  Or will they be happy having to fight for their relationship.  Will they, in the end, make it?

I encourage you to not only see the beauty in a wonderful picture, but search for that story as well.

Prayers....

There are several people in my family that could use some prayers...including myself.

I won't go into detail about each of our problems (and some aren't even problems) I'll just ask that you keep my family in your prayers, but I will tell you our major request...

my brother...

Josh...

as many of you know, he's one of my best friends and I wouldn't know what to do without him.

He and his family are getting prepared for him to deploy.  Not only his immediate family, but our entire family is preparing for this one.  We are unaware of where he's going, other than "over there". 

I have never been worried or upset about any of his deployments...even his 3 or 4 to Iraq...but for some reason, this one is taking its toll on me.  I know that he loves what he's doing and that this is what he was made for, but it's hard to let him go. (Not that we have a choice in the matter, but you know what I mean.)

I am requesting that everyone reading this pray Psalm 91 over him while he is gone.  That is the book and chapter that my mom and I have adopted for our family.  If you do not know it, I will include it here...

1  "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

     will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2  "I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress,

      my God, in whom I trust."

3    Surely He will save you

      from the fowler's snare

      and from the deadly pestilence.

4    He will cover you with his feathers,

      and under his wings you will find refuge; 

      his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5    You will not fear the terror of night,

      nor the arrow that flies by day,

6    nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

      nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7   A thousand may fall at your side,

      ten thousand at your right hand,

      but it will not come near you.

8    You will only observe with your eyes

      and see the punishment of the wicked.

9    If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”

     and you make the Most High your dwelling,

10 no harm will overtake you,

     no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you

     to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,

     so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;

     you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;

       I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15   He will call on me, and I will answer him;

       I will be with him in trouble,

       I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy him

      and show him my salvation.”

I have memorized it and believe it.  My mother bought me a book for Christmas with the title Psalm 91 and it's a compilation of stories told by soldiers and their families where this chapter has saved them.  So, please, please, pray this over my family and my wonderful brother.

Thank you!

Happy Birthday...

to my oldest little brother, Caleb Daniel. 

Or as he is affectionately known in our family, Cable.  My grandaddy started that (on accident I think), but it's stuck and I'm pretty sure he doesn't mind it.  At least not yet :).

Caleb was born a week to the day before I turned 14.  He's turning 10 today, which actually makes me feel a little old.  I can only imagine how my daddy feels.  (hahahaha.. I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist! :) I love you, daddy!)

This boy is one of the smartest, outgoing, and loving kids that I know.  I look forward to getting to watch him grow up close to me and my kids.  He is so good with Sammie and she absolutely adores her "Uncle Caleb".

I can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do with his life. 

I am so thankful that I get to call him (and my other 2), my brother.

I love you Caleb Daniel Patton.  Happy birthday!

to my mommie...

I miss you.

I don't know what triggered them, but I just had a flood of memories that made me really miss my time with my mommie. 

I have special memories from my childhood through now that I cherish with her, but I am talking specifically about our time we had about 6 years ago when it was just me and her living together.  My brother was living with us too, when he was home on leave, but most of the time, it was just me and her and I miss those days.

I miss going to the store with her.  I miss driving down to Downey Drugs and having lunch with her just because I wanted to.  I miss our Friday night dinners we had together at Logan's, Top O The River (remember the night that waiter hit on you? :)), and Jefferson's.  I miss her waking me up in the mornings for school.  I miss her being there when I got home in the evenings...ok, sometimes in the middle of the night :).  I miss sharing her makeup, deodorant, toothpaste, and shampoo. Yes, I miss the little things.

And as I'm getting ready to take Sammie on our first ever girls trip to the beach, I am missing our trip that we took to Panama City Beach for the 4th of July in 2005.  Her sisters and their families were already down there and we drove down, just the two of us (well, 3 if you count Sammie in my belly), and met them.  We had talks, we told jokes and laughed, she drove while I slept, and we enjoyed the company.

I guess I just miss being the daughter.  I am still her daughter and forever will be, but now I am much more than that.

I am a mother..

a wife..

a provider..

and the sharer of makeup, deodorant, toothpaste, and shampoo.. 

I do not wish my children's lives away, but I do admit that I look forward to Sammie getting older and being able to do the things that I loved doing with my mom.

I love you so much mommie.  I miss you and am looking forward to another weekend with my family and Grammie. :)

Sorry Mom...

I just had to post these pictures because they made me happy. 

I cannot wait to be able to load the car up and head back up to North Carolina.  We need more weekends like this. 

I love and miss you, Josh, Steph, and Savybaby!

I love you too, mommie :)

I love you more than...

That was the "battle of words" that Sammie and I had out last night. 


I started with: "Sammie, I love you more than all of the trees in the whole world."


Sammie: "is that a lot? because I love you more than Disney."


Me: "oh thank goodness!"


Sammie: "Mommy, I love you more than my tv."


If you know my child, you know that she considers that a big deal.


I am so thankful that my little girl is exactly that...my little girl.  She is absolutely precious and steals my heart all over again every day. 


And even though I'm supposed to be teaching her things, she is actually teaching me a very important lesson...


how to love myself...


I've been working really hard lately to get myself in shape and down to a certain weight that I see as "skinny enough" or "good enough" for a bikini or just to look at myself and be satisfied.  I've been on a fairly strict 1200 calorie diet during the week, have given up caffeine completely, working out everyday for 30-35 minutes on my lunch break and on Saturday mornings, and doing the 30 Day Shred every evening.  I am certainly seeing the results I want...slowly....but certainly.  I am enjoying myself and am very proud of myself for the hardwork I'm putting in to it. 


But more importantly, I am beginning to love myself.  And my body.  Which for a woman, is BIG news. 


You may be asking yourself how Sammie teaching me things has anything to do with this, but bare with me.


Sammie has her daddy's freckles.  Not quite as many as he does, but his nonetheless. They are under her eyes and across her nose.  She has always complained about her freckles.  She's always (since she's understood things) said that she hated them and wished she didn't have them.  I've noticed, however, that as she's getting older, she's beginning to love them....


Me: "I love you more than the amount of freckles on your face." 


*I immediately cringed in fear about what her response would be*


Sammie: "aww, I love my freckles, mommy."

*huge sigh*

I love you Samantha Grace.  You'll understand how much one day.

Randomness

I found a few random pictures on my phone today and thought I would share...

Mrs. Patty did Sammie's hair at school last week.

don't be fooled, this only lasted all of 5 seconds. =)

This is his favorite spot. He has even tried to shut the door on it. (yes, it's the dryer and no, I have never turned it on while he's in there)

Sammie finally got a hair cut that was way overdue...the next day, she took to her bangs on her own

He falls asleep like this every night.

My grandaddy Patton made all of the grandkids these desks when we were little and this one was Uncle Josh's that we are keeping until he can get it.  May be a little hard to take it away from this boy now.  He was on it from the time we got out of the bed until it was time to go to school.

They were both bummed because it was raining and they couldn't go outside. They stood there just like that for at least 10 minutes.

I've got mine..

I was reading a blog yesterday that I try to read daily and came across this little paragraph that made me smile..

..."We look for that ONE guy out there to fulfill all of our needs, right? One person. He’ll be strong and sensitive, he’ll smell good and he’ll listen, he’ll be funny and serious. And I’ll never have to ask him to take out the trash: he’ll just read my mind."...

The reason it made me smile is because after everything that we've been through lately I have realized that I have found my "ONE guy"...

He'll be strong-physically (he's got muscles), mentally (well most days=)), and emotionally (he's dealt with certain things better than I have).

and sensitive-our relationship and family means everything to him and when something doesn't go right, he gets his feelings hurt. He cares for people and animals in a way that is so precious to me.

He'll smell good-thanks to Degree deodorant and Axe body wash and spray, he smells pretty darn good. =)

He'll listen-he proved that for Valentine's Day and every day since we've been diligently working on our relationship.

He'll be funny-have you been around my husband? He keeps me laughing almost constantly. And during almost every phone conversation I have with my mother, she says "haha, he's so funny, I just love him". =)

and serious-at the same time that he's funny, he's equally serious. There are issues that he deals with seriously and he definitely takes discplining the kids (and Anheiser) seriously (an area that I do admit I struggle with).

I'll never have to ask him to take out the trash- yep, he does that one on his own. On top of the dishes, picking the kids up from day care, cleaning (sometimes), and cooking dinner (more times than not). All of which I overflow with thankfulness for and admittedly take for granted.

So, you see I do, indeed, have that "ONE guy".

Thank you, Lord, for Matt. He is so precious to me and I cherish everyday that I have with him even though we've both taken too many days the past 6 years for granted, we are learning because of You, how to savor every minute and enjoy everything. (Yes, even our uncleaned home) I am so thankful that You've restored his soul and made him my encouragement to get through situations and even my encourgament to get up and get moving when I don't want to. And while he may not be the most romantic man, You certainly have molded him to be pretty darn close and I thank You for that as well. I pray that we will continue to grow together in You and that we will, together, raise our children to serve You, love You, and to know the love You have for all of us. Amen.

Photos..

These pictures were taken over the weekend with my regular camera on my phone and my "FX camera" on my phone...

Hope you enjoyed them!

chocolate and growing up

I'm not sure what this boy loves about chocolate..ok, who am I kidding, yes I do! He thinks he is supposed to have it first thing in the morning for breakfast and as soon as he gets home. He has learned which jar is the candy jar and I'm almost tempted to swap things up on him just to keep from hearing about "choksit". Although I must admit that it's pretty darn cute to hear him say it and even cuter to watch him eat it.

Exhibit A:

After I took this picture, he screamed for me to let him see it and as plain as day, he said "ew, dirty face". Yes sir, that is a dirty face, but it's one of the cutest dirty faces I have ever seen!

And how appropriate to follow up a post about chocolate with a post about this...

It's official....my baby girl is growing up. She has lost her first tooth. Although she's extremely excited and can't believe that the Tooth Fairy brought her the crispest one dollar bill she's ever seen, her mommy is not so excited. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for her, but things like this make me realize how quickly she is growing up (and it's THAT that I don't like).

I am, however, very proud of me and her both. She was terrified of having her tooth pulled and I had convinced myself that there was no way that I would be able to pull it. After she came in the bedroom complaining of awful pain, I told her that it wouldn't hurt near as bad to pull it as it did at that moment. And her daddy chirped in with the tooth fairy bringing money. At that point, she was all game. Mommy..not so much. I did like any good mother would do and hid my own fear and took to it like a champ. She is now the most precious snaggled tooth little girl. Well, that is next to her mother at that age...haha..I'm only kidding.

Joshua Mahlon Myers..

was born two years ago today. At 5:35 p.m. to be precise. He didn't wait near as long as Sammie, but that little boy sure didn't want to come out! Once they got me admitted, they did the ultrasound to see where he was....he was all the way up in my ribs. Almost like he was hiding and not wanting to let go of his mommy. =)

From the moment I saw him, I was in love. Even after months of fear of having a little boy. He still loves his mommy as much as he did when I was pregnant and doesn't like to let go of me. That's ok with me because it makes my heart smile. Even though it's only been two years, it seems like he has been part of our family forever.

This morning once he woke up, I did what I normally wouldn't do, but because it was his birthday....

he got a cupcake for breakfast!

Following suit from Sammie's birthday post, I will tell you a few things I love about this boy in a bullet post:

• his blonde hair
• those big blue eyes
• those precious pouty lips
• the closed eye, showing all his teeth smile (see above picture!)
• his precious heart
• the love he has for his mommy and daddy
• the sweetness of his "love you, momma"
• his big squeezes at bedtime and byebye time
• how he gives me all of his kisses (each cheek, forehead, nose, chin, and lips)
• watching him love on his 'sissy'
• how mischievous he is (even if it does get him in trouble)
• how he snorts when he laughs
• how he loves for me to hold him like a baby and sing "rock a bye baby" and once it gets to the end of the song, I drop him on the bed like he's falling out of the tree
• how he calls his hot dog, his "hot diggity dog"
• how he loves to stand at the door and watch the garbage truck and every time he sees him he says, "oh wow"
• he never wants to stop, but once he does, he's out
• watching him play with Anheiser like he's bigger than him
• watching him play with his Uncle John Morgan, who just happens to be 6 months YOUNGER than him. :)

There are so many more things about this boy that I could list, but I'll just let them soak in my mind and heart today (and every other day). I pray that Mahlon will grow up to be a strong, loving, independent, and Godly man. I wouldn't mind if he was a mixture of all the men in our lives.

Happy Birthday sweet Mahlon! I love you so much!!

Valentine's Day

My husband and I completely suck at keeping surprises from each other. It's a problem that we've been trying to work on for the past 6 years, but it just doesn't seem to work.

I got my Valentine's present a whole week early. Sammie had helped her daddy pick out my present and bless her heart, she told her daddy that she was afraid she couldn't keep the secret any longer and that he needed to go ahead and give it to me. And I absolutely love it! I've always wanted him to get me something that I've just casually walked by and said "I love that"..you know, so that I know he was paying attention...well, he did it this time! =)

And after several weeks of racking my brain and searching for something good to give Matt for his gift, I remembered something that was coming up this weekend that we've both really been wanting to go do for years. So I paid for it and hadn't planned on telling him until we were parking at the BJCC that we were going, but I was afraid that he would eventually figure it out so I broke down and gave him his tickets to....

that's right..Brad Paisley! Along with Jerrod Neiman and Darius Rucker. And believe it or not, he actually showed some excitement about it! (*Not sure if it was because I warned him that he better show something* =) Nah, that couldn't be it) I have to admit that I am totally stoked about tomorrow night!

Our birthdays and anniversary are just around the corner so maybe we can keep what (if anything) we get each other a secret! Fingers crossed!

Snow!!

All day yesterday the weatherman kept telling me that we were going to get some snow. Of course, we've heard this all year and ended up with ice or too little snow to play in, so I didn't believe them.

About 8 o'clock, the snow started falling and around 9ish, there was enough on the ground to take the kids outside and let them play for a while. I'm sure that most of the kids in our neighborhood were in bed by then, but I knew how bad Sammie wanted to play in snow this year and I wasn't about to let what could be our only chance at it pass by.

We had snowball fights and Sammie made a snow angel. Mahlon loved being able to throw the snowballs this year, but that boy has a problem with his hands...they freeze way too easily. So, after about 30 or 45 minutes of hard core snow playing, we went inside to warm up and drink some hot chocolate daddy made us. I don't usually let the kids stay up until 10 or 10:30 on a "school night", but it was so worth it last night!

SNOW! (or "NO" as Mahlon calls it)

Our neigborhood is so pretty when it snows.

Sammie was definitely a happy camper.

I think Munch was pretty happy himself.

He WAS actually throwing a snowball, but he did stop and pose long enough for the picture. =)

Sammie's snow angel.

I absolutely adore this picture, but it's blurry.

hehe =)

Of course, I had to take my "grandaddy patton" pictures as I call them.

This was this morning around 6:30.

I do love the snow because it calms me, but I just wish it didn't have to be so dang cold for it! =)

Here's to spring, summer, and warmer weather!