.....

"I remember waitin’ by the curb with Mr. Murphy

When daddy picked me up from school his eyes were red

We drove to the hospital in a hurry

Where my family gathered round my Grandpa’s bed

He was my best friend

He taught me how to fish

And I cried listenin to my daddy pray

For one of those I’ve loved along the way"

-"Those I've loved along the way"- Eric Church

Have you ever had a date in time that you've tried to avoid? That you pretend like it won't come? Do you wish you could sleep through that day or do you wish, like me, that you could turn back the hands of time and never have to live that day?

I have many of those dates, but the worst one of all is fastly approaching and I'm having a harder time dealing with it than I thought I would.

November 28th is going to be a hard day for me and my family. Although I know how hard it is going to be, I am thankful that I will have my brother here with me. My brother and I spent a lot of time with our grandaddy and I will cherish those times for the rest of my life.

Everytime I think about close this day is, I quickly shove it out of my mind. Yesterday, Matt asked that I listen to this song on a CD that we bought. He said that it was one of his favorites and that he couldn't hardly listen to the first part of it without wanting to cry for me. I posted that lyric at the top of this entry. I am not able to read or listen to it without crying. When I heard those words, I could feel my heart sink and my stomach drop. I miss that man so much and even though there are days that go by when the pain doesn't cross my mind, there are more days when it does.

I know that he's in heaven and he's watching over me and I'll be able to see him again soon, but he was one of the greatest men I ever knew. He always took care of me and Josh and he saw to it that we had everything that we ever wanted or needed.

I remember him taking me home one night and I begged him for months to let me drive "Old Blue" (that was the name of his truck). He finally caved and let me drive...I was loving it! He, on the other hand, was terrified...after all, I was only 12 or so. ha!

I remember we all took a ride over Bull Gap Mountain one night. He made me believe that Old Blue was programmed for his voice and that everytime he said "bright" or "low" she would change her headlights accordingly. I thought that was the coolest thing I had ever seen! I remember trying to get her to change, but he told me that it was only programmed for his voice and the only way I might be able to get her to act right was to baby her. I rubbed that carpeted dashboard and spoke sweetly, but still nothing! It was only 10 years later that I finally got the truth about that truck! I'm still not sure if I believed him the whole 10 years or if I had just pushed it to the back of my mind. The switch for the dimmer was in the floor board so when he "spoke to Old Blue", he was pushing the button in the floor where I couldn't see him. I think that is probably my favorite memory of him. :)

So, please, during this holiday season say a special prayer for me and especially on November 28th.

Happy Thanksgiving!